Can A Medium Cure Grief?

Space to connect

“Most people go to see mediums and psychics not because they’re freshly bereaved, but because time has passed and they don’t want to let go. It’s an attempt to keep that connection with the dead,” Felicity Carter tells me on the phone. As an ex-astrologer, she spent a lot of time in the spiritual world and with people who claim to see the dead.

Four years ago, Linda Nash lost her husband and son in the space of just five months. After seeing an advert, she first went to see a medium a couple of months after her son’s death. Today, she sees her sometimes twice a week, and did so during lockdown via Zoom. It’s these sessions and the reminder that there is an afterlife that helps keep her feeling positive in the wake of such tragedy.

“The first time my son came through, she said she’d never seen such a big angel,” Linda laughs and explains that he was 204cm tall. Her medium knew nothing about her story previously or who she was. “It’s so specific what she says, the only person that would know it is you or the person that has died. She once asked me, ‘Mum, has your new ring arrived yet?’ I’d ordered a ‘mum’ ring shortly after my son Wes had died. I hadn’t told anyone I’d ordered it,” she explains to me. “I cope because I believe. I now know they’re just fine where they are and that they’re in a better place.”

The real deal

It’s a confirmation that Dennie Smith wants to find. She has visited around 15 different psychic mediums and various group sessions to try to contact her grandmother, who died 10 years ago. Some, she says, got all the details wrong, leaving her frustrated. But she did manage to find one who knew her grandma’s name was Margaret, with the nickname Peggy. “When she was dying, she asked me how she could get in touch. I told her she’d find a way and she did. I came out of there feeling content and believing she was there.”

“I’ve been to so many now trying to find that comfort,” Dennie says, wanting to try different people to see if they match up with others. “Once at a group session, I wanted to scream because it felt like such a sham. They kept picking on this shy woman until she agreed with what they were saying to find a tedious link to prove they were right.”

It’s these kinds of experiences that give the industry a bad name, of preying on people’s vulnerability for their own monetary gain. So, what makes a good medium? It’s all about the smaller details. Try booking under a fake name and give nothing away during your session – it’s surprising how much someone can piece together after a quick Google search. If they are the real deal, they’ll give you specifics and tiny details only you and that person would know.

But it’s also about where you are at in your journey and the impact the process might have on you – positive or negative. When my dad died, it was hard to speak about my grief and the reality of losing him. After the funeral, it felt like I was expected to snap back and be ‘normal’. The messages of support started to disappear, and I was left alone with the aching loss. It took a long time to realize that I would have to carry my grief with me for the rest of my life, and that was OK – others were going through the same thing.

I found myself nodding in agreement when Felicity spoke of another reason those grieving find comfort in spiritualism. “They offer one thing that the modern world doesn’t: a place where you can actually talk about death. It’s probably the last place where people can sit down and just remember them,” she says. “Grief in our society has become very corporateised. If you’re not coping, you’re told to see a professional, offered antidepressants and people avoid talking to you until you’re over it because it’s too uncomfortable for them. Spirituals and mediums offer understanding.”

In it together

I feel more centered than ever after my experience. It’s comforting to know my dad is still present in my life. But I could see how easy it would be to get sucked into visiting consistently, just for that slice of time with my dad, and how that perhaps might not be the healthiest thing. It’s important to ensure that visiting mediums is something to complement your healing process, rather than encompass it. Always seek professional help if you’re worried about yourself, how you’re coping or about someone else.

Grieving is lonely, but the thought of them being around makes it a bit more bearable. Even hardcore sceptics can’t deny the comfort visiting a good medium can bring. That said, the sad reality is that conversations about death and grief are still seen as taboo for many cultures. If we start talking more often and openly with those around us, perhaps fewer people would have to visit a medium and pay for that privilege.

source https://www.bisayanews.com/2022/03/01/can-a-medium-cure-grief/